What does your website reveal about your business?

Does your website suffer from one of these 8 common personality disorders?

Websites are a lot like people. They have their own particular character traits that reveal a huge amount about the people behind the organisation or business. Which one of these common personality disorders is your website revealing?

peter-the-pushy-salesman-smPeter is the guy (and isn’t it always a guy?) you meet at a party who thrusts his business card in your hand while proclaiming loudly how he’s going to make you richer, happier, healthier or more attractive. Peter just loves the sound of his own voice and lacks a single empathetic bone in his entire body.

Peter’s website has multiple pop-ups which don’t disappear unless you agree “I do not wish to be richer, happier, or live longer”. Peter feels really smart about having a website that gets a ton of visitors to give him their made-up email addresses.

wally-the-waffler-smWally is the guy who can’t communicate without using technical jargon, industry buzzwords or acronyms. Wally lacks any desire to understand what matters most to his customers or what language they might use to describe their problems.

Wally’s landing pages consist of 10,000 words of unbroken paragraphs in 8-point font. Wally worries that using plain-English language to describe his products or services, might make his customers might realise that he doesn’t actually understand them himself.

judy-the-obscure-smJudy is a woman of mystery; a real closed book. While her outward appearance is initially appealing, you will never be able to make a real connection because Judy is giving nothing away.

Judy’s website makes it impossible for you to find out the information you actually need to do business with her. She won’t reveal her service pricing or her product delivery charges until you have completed the checkout process. The only way to contact Judy is via an anonymous enquiry form.  

sherlock-the-searcher-smSherlock is a guy who constantly repeats himself. Ask him about “cheap flights” and he will just spit out a long list of related phrases such as “affordable travel” or “budget vacations”.

Sherlock is so focused on making his website look relevant to search engines that he has forgotten how to communicate with real human beings.

barry-the-bum-smBarry doesn’t care much about personal appearances.  He is unshaven and dresses as though he has been sleeping on the streets.

Barry designed and built his website using Microsoft FrontPage in 1998 and sees no reason at all to update it. The colours are uncoordinated and the font is in flashing Comic Sans wrapped around an animated welcome screen. Barry doesn’t realise that customers will form their opinion of his business on the basis of his website.

sammy-the-senior-citizen-smSammy sure likes to take his time. He drives around in his 1953 Austin A30, never going above 15mph, and uses a Zimmer frame to walk.

Sammy’s website takes 12 seconds to load, displays uncompressed images on the home page and reminds you of the good old days of dial-up modems. Mobile-friendly?  Sure, if you are using a Nokia 6210!

Sammy hasn’t realised that his customers live in the 21st Century and will have browsed, added to basket and checked out of his competitor’s website long before his logo has even loaded on the home page.

bob-the-boaster-smBob loves to tell you about his Caribbean villa and his Bentley GT convertible while he flashes his gold Rolex watch in your face. The truth is that Bob lives in a one-bed council flat in Elephant & Castle. He works from a laptop in the front room while watching repeats of Judge Judy.

Bob’s website uses the word “we” when it should say “I”, displays a bogus mailing address that he bought online. Bob writes all of his own testimonials and bought 10,000 fake Twitter followers from Fiverr.com.

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